Arghhhhh! What the heck was I thinking anyway …..?!?

I try very hard to be in a good mood, good spirits all the time! It’s not fake, it’s perspective I think …. putting things in their proper place in the hierarchy of needs and truly seeing and enjoying what you DO Have instead of focusing on what you think you need!

For the most part I can keep things positive and up beat and almost always find a silver lining ….. it’s just the way I work! Perhaps that’s why dealing with my kids lately has been such a drain on my energy.

Just when you think you might be making progress in one area something else comes up in a different respect that makes you start all over again. I simply don’t know what else to do ….. You know the saying ‘you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink’! Funny enough the youngest was born in the year of the horse! Not that I personally put any weight on such things but it is ironic!

I almost always have to fuss and fight with him to get him out the door for school. He is smart and funny and would do very well if he was to put any effort towards his school work. As it stands he still does well but the effort is half @ssed at best. It frustrates me obviously as I see him wasting his potential and his life ….. I have talked, I have explained this in not how you make your way in life, I have taken things away ….. and he is currently laying in bed refusing to go to school.

I can normally keep myself in check but I can’t deny that I get close to going over board when it comes to this kind of crap! I get angry and raise my voice, I tell him I am not working my @ss off so that he can grow up to be lazy and entitled. All he gets from that attempt at a conversation is that I think he is worthless, of course ….. ! Losing your temper never helps but I am only human and when it comes to the kids I have a very hard time not letting my emotions get away from me from time to time.

So I take ‘5’, come back calmer and explain I don’t think he’s useless but I can’t deny that what he’s doing is a waste of his talents and it makes me upset. I explain that I can tell him the right thing to do but that he needs to be the one doing it, and then I tell him that I am not fighting any more. It doesn’t mean I don’t care, it just isn’t the way things are dealt with properly ….

And so there he lays, in bed and refusing to go ….

Is this the example I’m providing??

If he was any smaller I would likely pick him up and take him to school, but he is a month away from 15, he’s head and shoulders taller than me and probably outweighs me by 40+ lbs. Besides, who wants to do that every day. That’s not really teaching anything good is it?

Maybe my parents had it right, I hated being home, I went to school even when I was very sick and could barely stand straight. I know they didn’t, but it does make me wonder …..

Going to grab a cup of coffee now, do some brain storming and try to come up with the ‘next steps’ for this …. I’m guessing the only thing to do is take away privileges and wait it out but so far that really hasn’t been more than a short-term fix.

It makes me think of when they were little and you’re forever telling them not to climb something because they are going to get hurt. They never really stop until after they do fall and bump their heads! Let’s hope it doesn’t end in a concussion this time around!

Cheers!

~n

 

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