Once upon a time, in a head space far, far away …..
When I started this blog I was reliving some pretty nasty times in my life. New situations brought back old feelings and new troubles brought old damaging desires back to the forefront. Some things I did write simply because I wanted to see how it felt, to put them out there, out of me …. would they come back and hit me square in the face? Would they float away?? Would someone find me out …. ?
I’m not sure what I need from this now, I have found myself farther from that dark place then I have ever been. I find that I don’t fear letting others see that there is feeling in this soul, that it can be hurt, that it can get broken …. that it is vulnerable. I’ve always known that it takes more strength to make yourself open then it takes to be the pillar everyone relies on I just didn’t know I had a place to fall if I needed to before. I know now ….
I’m sure the dark and crazy feelings will show themselves every so often, it would be illogical to believe otherwise, but I’m also sure that they won’t be as hurtful or as long-lasting as they have been. I’ve always looked on the bright side and made the best of every situation but I find now that the effort to do that is less and less each day.
If you put on a smile you start to feel better, I’m waking up with one now …. I feel great!
I wrote this originally in June 2016 and I felt it was right to re-post it to get myself back on track and to fill you all in on the intention of this site.
It is not meant as instructions for anyone’s life but my own. I would never be so ridiculous as to think I had the answers. I guess you could say this is my attempt at finding them.
At the start it was a way of trying to stay out of my own head (because I am very good at going deep and hiding out) and now it has evolved to a ‘thinking out loud’ way of dealing with the school, dealing with the kids and dealing with my physical issues along the way.
Many times it includes the dogs and the garden … basically the ups and downs of living! I find by the time I’ve written things out I normally come up with the solution I was seeking. For me this works … 😀
Happy Thursday everyone, feel free to chime in if inspiration hits you!! *giggle*