It’s funny how life surprises you at times, it also doesn’t escape me how perspective really does change how good or bad you see things.
I went away for a few days this week, the first time in over 4 years I think. The first time in 4 years that I #1 found something worth while going away for, and #2 found it safe enough to do so.
With the boys dealing with the things that have come up and with me having to really be the “Master of my sea” … *wink* going away has been out of the question. Although both boys have different issues the one constant that keeps them grounded is me. No two ways about it, when things are stressful I need to be here and at the ready …. again, the Master of my sea! If I’m not at the helm at home the ship might sink …. not because I don’t think that someone else can handle it but because THEY don’t.
Being in charge 24/7/365 and having not one but two people depend on you for their mental health is taxing on the best of days. Four years in and well ….. you start to wonder if it’s ever going to be safe for you to leave!
I had been hoping …. planning a get away in the spring. That didn’t happen, or at least has not yet happened. That is still too many days away to be comfortable. BUT we did just manage an over night trip! *grin*
It wasn’t just a trip, it was a trip to watch Imagine Dragons!!! LoL In case you haven’t been around long, I happen to really love music and I happen to REALLY LOVE Imagine Dragons!
So of course I wore my imaginary dragon to watch them:
I have a thing for T-shirts too FYI! *wink*
I could focus on the fact that it has been so long OR I could focus on the fact that it has just happened! And happened well, everything went according to plan. No child felt overwhelmed or anxious and no one had issues to make up for or deal with when we got back!
Me on the other hand … well that’s a different story. I had a bit of a mental over load to deal with BUT again, it boils down to your perspective.
I felt comfortable enough to actually be able to let myself decompress …. no matter how messy …. or uncomfortable. I just did. And believe me there was a lot of pent-up energy that needed out, still is really but at least the pressure valve has been opened.
So back to how this all ties together, when we got to the concert and found our seats it became quickly apparent that we were effectively sitting in the first seats of a wind tunnel! On a chilly day with the wind blowing off the lake! Good thing we packed some sweaters!!
At first it seemed that these seats were not at all going to be very good and my one outing might just be cursed beyond repair! But I kept on! I was going to find a way to enjoy this once in a lifetime opportunity whether or not I liked it, darn it!! LoL
Well, not long after that someone much too much taller than me decided to change seats with his kid and sit right in front of me. Oh awesome!
Once the concert started EVERYONE decided they needed to stand that was in front of me, again awesome! Right?? I’m 5 foot nothin’ and that includes the shoes! 😛
Well, I could have been down but I decided why not go for the gusto?? I tried standing out further in the isle cuz no one was stopping me. It seems the security guard took pity because he didn’t say a word, just watched and let me stand there, dance there, and sing, of course!! LoL
Some time into the concert he ushered me back to my seat. I thought, oh okay, I’ve gotten away with it long enough …. but I was oh so wrong!
As I turned to go back to my seat and then faced back around I came face to face with Daniel Reynolds! LOL OMG!!!! I think my brain misfired there a time or too!!! I just couldn’t compute what just happened.
Fortunately I caught up well enough by the time he was on his way back to the stage and I got a big old High Five from the leader of one of my favourite bands! Apparently he likes to run through the crowd singing when he can, go figure! I guess the seats weren’t all that bad after all!
Lots more singing and lots more dancing and lots more standing later and then the band was once more on the move!
Guess who got a high 5 from the entire band??? *giggle* Yeah, I did, I was pretty excited I can tell you! 
I swear the guy is a jack rabbit! He jumps and runs and dances for 2 hours straight! The concert is high energy and they sound just like they sound … no crap, no B/s just real music and talent!
There is no way to even begin to tell you the energy in which they play. It really is worth every penny and every effort, and I have been told many times, I am not easily impressed!
I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to see them again, I hope I do. The thing that I most remember from this trip away however …. the boys were good, the animals were good and all my plants survived!
I choose to enjoy the good bits as they came and not dwell on the parts that may or may not be a problem. It all worked out in the end and I even got to release some much-needed stress energy.
Where does that take me next? Don’t know … but if I get to high 5 another band that speaks to me, well than, I think over all, Live Is Good! *wink*
Happy Father’s Days All!
Cheers!
~n
nijntje's Babadook 
Absolutely nothing to do with this post but I couldn’t sleep the other night and flicked through the channels then settled for a film The Babadook and thought “I’ve heard of that before”
Never twigged where I’d heard or seen it until your notification came through my email and then came the sound of a thousand pennies dropping all at once 😀
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LoL Yup! That’s where it came from. Babadook means boogie man and it was a very big part of where this site began, I don’t think it has that feeling now but it was the beginning …. *wink*
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Gutted for the doggy not least because they stepped right on over him without so much as a kick or slight shove. Just walked on over him and out the door and I’m “Hang on – your dog. YOUR DOG!!”
Not sure when it was made but it definitely had a “I see dead people” feel to it. Didn’t quite get the ending either. He’s in the basement noshing on bowls of worms but I was expecting the boy to die on his birthday given that was in her premonition (news report about a boy being killed on his birthday with her staring out the upstairs window)
I was having a mild trauma in the form of large wood spiders scuttering across the living room floor and my dogs deciding to play with them though – could have missed something whilst that was going on.
I also wondered if you can order a book as it appears in the film which I’m sure you can. My kids would love that.
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Ironically, the last few minutes of the movie is what spoke to me and what the blog is about! LoL
It’s about never really being able to forget/be rid of the demons in our lives BUT if we learn to manage them we can move forward and enjoy a good life regardless.
I have read that some books were made after the movie came out but they were going for about $500 bucks! I’m not sure if you can even get one now, you’ll have to let me know if you do! 😀
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Aaah right I get it (sort of kind of not sure) but still not sure if the kid knows he’s in there eating worms, what gives with the dog and if they ever had that awkward talk or why the premonition about a kid dying on his birthday and his Mum staring from the window.
Kinda feel like the colleague skipped out on her a bit too he seemed nice, rocked up with a thoughtful gesture then pissed off again pretty sharpish “Weirdo kid alert” and we never saw him again.
Her sister was a bitch. Husband was dishy though 😀
You’ve explained and made more sense of it but I’m a bit of a snowflake like that and forever “Yeah but.. why?”
My kids are both artistic and my daughter has every type of canvas, book, paper, pen and brush she uses to make her binders, journals and all sorts of stuff. I’ll bet 20p she could whip up a legit looking “Babadook” replica type book in no time.
If she reckons so I’ll ask her to do an extra one and send it to you via courier.
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Oh my goodness! That is very very kind of you to offer! It would be quite the thing to hold in my hands! LoL
The movie was a bit complicated here and there, I know they left some parts out purposefully to not scare the young actor in the roll.
Most of it really is about how our minds can imprison us and make us victims to things in our past, things in our imagination that keeps us from living a happy life. It also show how sometimes people around us either don’t understand or behave badly ….
And some of it, like you said, is just weird! LoL My opinion of course!
It’s an artistic view of how our mental health has so much more to do with our lives than people (at the time especially) were really aware of. I think the news about mental health and it’s significance is much more widely accepted now, but we do still have a long was to go.
For me the demons of the past are my parents, my family and how I have learned to manage them and deal with them without letting them ruin the rest of my life. Like me, I think the boy is very aware that the monster lives, he is learning along with his mother how to keep it where it belongs. Together they are fighting against the ‘monsters’ that plagued them, not just her, not just him.
“If it’s in a word, or it’s in a look, you can’t get rid of the babadook.” BUT you can learn to deal with it, and win! *wink*
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You’re not wrong. Not a bit.
Not sure if you’ve ever heard of “Alice in Wonderland Syndrome” or “Todd’s Syndrome” at all? My son has Aspergers, Dyspraxia and a whole load of freaky stuff going on with sensory processing disorder.
Bouts of AIWS used to terrify him to the extent I couldn’t get a word of sense out of him or make him calm down until it had burned out and subsided.
Then I figured out what it was, remembered having had similar as a kid and from there he learned to not just accept it all, he toyed with it and can even induce a bout which he will giggle his ass off as he’s suddenly tripping balls.
That only came with learning what was happening to him which meant being free from the fear of it all and finally learning to control it.
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That’s exactly the way I think of it also. My youngest has many of the markers for Asperger’s although we have not officially labelled it. We have managed it, obviously since the beginning and it wasn’t until the intolerant behaviour of one of his high school teachers that it snowballed out of control.
The more he/we learn about it the more we can control it as well. I too remember many similarities between him and I growing up, especially when it comes to seeing and understanding the behaviours of others, but that is a post in and of itself! LoL
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Oh no way 😦 I cant find a “Contact me” button on your main pages to drop a message and my email.
Go to my contact page and send a short message and I’ll get back and give you my contact email add. I may (or may not) be able to help you negotiation your way around the nonsense of school and whether or not to go with the labelling.
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yes unfortunately, she’s one of those ‘special’ people! UGH It’s not a school wide issue, just a bad teacher, this semester has been much better, thankfully!
I don’t have a contact button but you can reach me at 73nijntje@gmail.com any info is always helpful and welcome! 😀
I’ll have to check out your site as well!
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I don’t see a way to find a site for you however. There is no link with your name.
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*Didn’t mean to hijack your post sorry I’ve just read through the lot from start to finish.
Need to go back and catch up on the history and stresses you’re under but the single most important thing you can do for you and your kids is take time out and away from each other now and then. Does everyone the world of good and lets you all come back together with a fully recharged battery and whole load of stuff to talk about 😀
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Amen to that! LoL Please, hijack away, I don’t get many comments, sometimes it feels like I’m talking to myself! Not that that’s a bad thing from time to time! LoL
I’m hoping these blogs will help others continue to move forward as well, anyone who might be dealing with similar issues.
Mostly however, getting it ‘down on paper’ gets it out of my head and allows me to -1 make a plan, and -2 reduce my stress.
Writing things out always relaxes me as soon as the post is done and published. It gets rid of any negative feels. For me, it works 🙂
Thank you for all your good wishes, every bit of support really does help! 😀
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Maybe a trip is another day but I’m glad y’all enjoyed your trip to that day.
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Thanks, C! Always moving forward, that’s what counts in the end anyway. 🙂
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