Entirely Too serious

I’ve been hoping for some fun in life recently, some fun that keeps being just beyond my grasp. Just when I think things will settle and cards will be played and I will finally get to just be ‘free’ ……. it seems to come and go before my eyes.

The hours and days slide by without stopping long enough for me to even catch the smallest taste of freedom.

It seems that with every situation that gets handled, two more arise.

The road is getting longer not shorter, as I travel to what was once a destination. It seems now that it is merely a mirage.

Is it possible to be too positive? To look too much on the ‘bright side’? Is it possible that always focusing on the next step instead of dwelling on the cr@p that you have been dished out is actually making it so that I am getting less than my fair share?

When a door closes I look for a window, when the window closes I look for the old milk shoot,when the milk shoot is boarded up I sit and formulate a new plan or just wait til someone opens the door once more.

No complaining, whining or getting upset …. just wait and move forward. Always looking for the silver lining even if I have to be the one to colour it in.

So am I doomed to forever wait outside and hope my time will come? Wait that I might get to go in? Wait that maybe some day my needs will be first and the work will pay off?

Hell at this point I’d like to just simply put my feet up and not have another situation calling my name.

It feels like the things are getting piled on and I’m being more and more isolated every day. The captain at the helm while everyone else waits by the lifeboats just in case I can’t keep the ship a float.

Would I get more help and assistance if I channeled some negative energy instead and just screamed ‘screw it‘!

Ahoy!

~n

 

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