My brother and I talk just about every day. He has me on an app that allows texting even though I don't own a cell phone, it comes to my computer (or whatever device) I happen to be logged into. Today he texts: 'My son wants to come live with you, if I die. He … Continue reading Normal, right?!?
I haven't written here in a while and i think it's because i'm just actively avoiding the whole thing in my mind. I don't want to put energy into writing it down because i just don't think i have any 'extra' energy left for this right now. I've been back to work since the beginning … Continue reading Avoiding
My mind starts to take over The world seems to drift below me thoughts, circling .... never-ending train continues to whirl about I'm sick, I'm fevered, I'm tired, but yet my mind continues Refusing to give me peace, Refusing to give me rest Refusing to give me a moment of silence .... A never-ending … Continue reading Caged
Ever feel like you are talking to the wall? I have said essentially the same thing over and over since June about trying to get my oldest the courses and help he needs to get his high school credits. I have been sent and driven all over hell's half-acre to try to talk to and … Continue reading Am I really *that* confusing???
I deal in logic and facts When dealing with a world that works off emotions I often find myself at a loss Emotions don't often make sense, they just are When emotions ran my thoughts I used many self-destructive ways to cope Intellectually dealing with things as they come up allows me to be rid … Continue reading Lost in translation
I've been waiting on a call or email from the school since this time last week. So far, nothing. I have to get my oldest set up for school and I can't do it alone. His previous emotional trauma has made it so he has no interest in an 'in class' approach to school right … Continue reading And so it begins ….
... and I'm not looking forward to it! Two more weeks til school starts, two more weeks til work starts. I never did hear back from the job I sent off to and it's too late now to pursue others. It wouldn't be fair to the families counting on me. I have started telling them … Continue reading Two more weeks …
When I was younger I wanted to 'write'. Poems and lyrics mostly, stories just seemed too long and I have always had a way of saying things quickly and to the point. Made writing 27 chapters a bit difficult! *chuckle* I don't think anyone ever really cared for anything I wrote, I certainly didn't get … Continue reading Write what you know.
I just read a post from a fellow blogger about triggers. I understand what happens quite well, I lived with them for years. I had a tiny bit of a reminder yesterday but I'm glad to say I quickly side-stepped it and moved on, mostly. Obviously I still remember but it's not something I'm dwelling … Continue reading At the oddest moments
This month has been a 'tough' one for many reasons. The boys both doing online summer school and neither of them really wanting or trying. That leaves a lot of 'heavy lifting' in the motivation department for mom. Me not working, which you would think was a great thing, but I haven't been able to … Continue reading Always on my mind ….